Husband and I have been going through the study Experiencing God by Henry and Richard Blackaby and Claude King. I highly recommend this study. Though I don't think it's perfect, I do think it's a very good study. I'm thinking a lot and learning a lot about God because of the meditations in this book.
This morning's reading was especially pertinent to my life right now. The authors write about the silences of God. They first reference Job, which almost made me skip to the end. I don't want to think any more about Job right now. I just don't. But then the talk switches to the account of the death of Lazarus, found in John 11:1-45. I want to share what they write:
John reported that Jesus loved Lazarus, Mary, and Martha. Although Jesus received word that His good friend was sick and at the point of death, He delayed going until Lazarus died. In other words, Mary and Martha asked Jesus to come help their brother when he was sick, and Jesus was silent. All the way through Lazarus's final sickness and death, Jesus did not answer. They recived no response from the One who said He loved Lazarus. Jesus even said He loved Mary and Martha. Yet He did nothing.
Lazarus died, and Mary and Martha went through the funeral process, preparing his body, putting him in the grave, and covering it with a stone. Still, God's silence continued. Finally, Jesus said to His disciples, "Let's go."
When Jesus arrived, Lazarus had been dead four days. Martha said to Jesus, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died." Then the Spirit of God began to help me understand something. It seemed to me as if Jesus said to Mary and Martha: "You are exactly right. If I had come when you asked, your brother would not have died. You know I could have healed him, because you have seen Me heal people many times before. If I had come when you asked Me to, I would have healed him. But you would have never known any more about Me than you already understood. I knew you were ready for a greater revelation of Me than you had known before. I wanted you to experience that I am the Resurrection and the Life. My refusal and My silence were not rejection. They were opportunities for Me to disclose to you more of Me than you had ever known."
Over the last month, God has been silent. To me, anyway. I've asked for fertility medications to be effective. I've asked for healing. I've asked for a baby. On all accounts over this past month-- and year before that-- God has remained silent.